In 1975, Timothy Gallwey wrote the ground breaking book "The Inner Game of Tennis".
To summarise Tim's main discovery, we all have two very distinct selves.
Our most magnificent self believes that anything is possible, that we can do and achieve anything we put our mind and resources to, and it has wonderful big dreams.
Then we have our saboteur that sees problems, and reasons why things won't work everywhere it looks, that believes we're not good enough and that it's all hopeless.
We are always in a constant battle, which can never be completely won, between these two selves.
The most important thing you can do is to strengthen your most magnificent self, and to realise that your saboteur is not the real you, but just a part of you that likes to dominate (which it is an expert at) and keep you living a small and unfulfilling life.
Once you relate to your saboteur as something separate from your most magnificent self, it becomes easier to keep it in check
The key to a happy and successful life is to engage your own magnificent self with the most magnificent selves of others.
Talking to others' saboteurs or talking from your own saboteur is a recipe for discontent, frustration and minimal joy.
What big dreams does your most magnificent self have and what will that be like when you achieve them?